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Article published on LinkedIn.com: May 17, 2023
12_selfsabotage_170523_en.pdf
self-sabotage
Have you ever somehow found yourself in the same place
repeatedly?
Why do I keep doing this?
Why does this keep happening to me?
Do you ask yourself these questions, when you feel trapped in
situations that create problems in your life and prevent you
from achieving your goals?
If this sounds familiar, you might be sabotaging yourself.
Self-sabotage refers to behaviors or ways of thinking that
hold you back and prevent you from accomplishing.
Self-sabotage happens when you do certain things that were
appropriate in a context but are no longer necessary.
In other words, these behaviors helped you adapt to a past
situation, such as a traumatic childhood or a toxic
relationship, in order to survive the challenges you faced.
They may have appeased you or defended you at the time.
However, these methods of adaptation, when situations and
circumstances evolve or simply change, they can cause
difficulties.
Some of the major contributing factors, for example,
experiences established in our early relationships are often
repeated in relationships throughout life. We are attached to
these experiences. They mean something to us and it's hard to
let them go.
Now suppose you had parents who never paid
much attention to you unless they were angry.
You know it's not a good thing to make people angry,
however, this experience for you is compelling because of this
parenting. For you, making people angry is the only way to
generate interest, so you feel stuck in this life experience
where it is tempting, even attractive, to make people angry
with you.
This can
appear, for example, in your work, where you fail to show up
on time. At first, your supervisor forgives and encourages
you, but as time goes on and you're still not on time, your
supervisor gets angry and eventually fires you.
There is also
the dynamic of past relationships.
If you haven't
felt supported or heard when asking for what you needed in
past relationships, romantic or otherwise, you may struggle to
communicate effectively in your present relationships.
Whether you
had an abusive partner or a partner who simply didn't care
about your thoughts and feelings, you may not have felt able
to express yourself.
You have
remained silent to protect yourself from anger, rejection, and
other negative experiences. But as a result, you have not
learned to defend your needs and rights.
You need to put everything into perspective, because
present situations are different from those of the past. It
can be difficult to get out of destructive situations that are
similar or not, but it is always better to ask for help than
to continue the destruction of your life.
Here we all need to remember Homer Simpson comment, « Are you your worst enemy?
Free yourself from Self-Sabotage! Self-sabotage is the set of
behaviors, habits, and attitudes that a person possesses that
prevent them from having the life they want. »
Find out more about « Discovering yourself as
to better understand others » with My Success Is Your Success. The book
through questions, quotes and reflections provides the
necessary elements to explore all about motivation so to shape
your success and help those around you do the same. Remember
that success is all about team efforts!
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This book is the result of forty years
of experience acquired with local and international
organizations and companies and during consultancy,
change management, transition and marketing services.
This 404-page
personal development book was published by WebTech
Publishing and is available online in English, North
American French and European versions. For more
information and to view the flip book, visit
webtechPublishing.
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About the Author
Decelles
Other publications:
ISO Pour Tous
– Le manuel
d’information ISO – Le guide de préparation ISO – La
gestion du changement en affaires – La gestion de
projet d’affaires – Le
changement POUR TOUS –
Change your future,
now! – Mon succès est votre succès.
Press Contact
Germain Decelles, o.s.j.
WebTech Management et Publication Incorpored
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