|
Article published on LinkedIn.com:
Oct. 04, 2023
25_Vampirism_En.pdf
HOW TO IDENTIFY A PSYCHIC VAMPIRE?
Along your path to success, you are going to meet people who
will try to pump your energy in any way they can, with the
result that you will feel tired, even drained.
If you scratch a little in your memories, you will surely
remember having already suffered such situations before.
To achieve an experience of health, happiness, and prosperity,
you must recognize the different types of people who will try
to rob you of your well-being throughout your life. Doctor
Stéphane Clerget psychiatrist has identified them for you.
Below, you will find a series of excerpts from interviews and
comments concerning the book « Psychic vampires, how to
recognize them, how to escape them
» by Doctor Stéphane Clerget psychiatrist, available from
Arthème Fayard. I suggest you get this book.
Have you ever had the feeling of having been « vampirized » by
a colleague, a stranger, a relation, or a parent?
You then feel tired, even drained. You come to understand that
you are being used by this person, and that you give them, or
they take you, without receiving anything in return. You are
the victim of a psychic vampire.
Psychic vampires need to feed on your physical and emotional
energy, whether it's a vital need related to their
psychological functioning or simply out of opportunism.
For the one who is a victim, it is a kind of mental drainage
that begins. Unlike narcissistic perverts, vampires don't want
to destroy you. On the contrary, they need you.
So, faced with their voracity, you have to be able to adopt
defense strategies.
And since they can adopt very different appearances and
personalities, which makes it difficult to identify them at
first glance.
So, it is suggested to try to understand them to protect
yourself from them.
However, upon informing yourself of this psychic situation,
you realize that you may also sometimes be a psychic vampire
yourself.
Stéphane Clerget « The
psychic vampire deprives its victim of all energy.
» They drain our energy, ask
for advice and services, but give nothing in return. In the
family, at work or as a couple, « psychic vampires » are
psychologically and emotionally exhausting.
How to live with them?
They do not suck our blood but suck our vitality. In
both professional and personal life,
«
psychic vampires
»
take advantage of us, monopolize our ideas, exhaust
us with all kinds of demands.
Psychiatrist Stéphane
Clerget's comparison seems most relevant for several reasons.
With a psychic vampire as with a « real » vampire, the victims
feel exhausted, drained of their energy. The vampire is a
universal myth. There are also, psychic vampires everywhere
and at all times.
One can also wonder if these
personalities did not inspire the myths. Finally, psychic
vampires can't stand being exposed. When they are discovered,
they lose all power.
1.
What are the salient personality traits of
the psychic vampire?
We speak of « casual vampirism » when a person particularly likes to
attract attention, by talking loudly in a restaurant or at
work, for example.
There is a deeper form of vampirism. Within the couple, in the family,
the vampire uses our energy for his benefit. It perverts a
central notion in human relations, that of exchange.
She or he takes without ever giving back.
2.
What warning signs should be kept in mind?
Bear in mind that psychic vampires do not want to harm us. They even have
every interest in preserving us.
They will therefore constantly seek to capture our attention, our
listening. They « ask to be reassured » and things often have
to be done for them. When one systematically gives up one's
needs and one's personal pleasure for someone else's benefit,
one must be concerned.
3.
Why do these people need to
« steal » their
loved ones?
Some just don't like to give. They are selfish. These cases are rare.
Psychic vampires are more often very dependent people, unable
to rejuvenate themselves emotionally and intellectually.
This may be the result of a childhood when the parents gave too much
because they did not learn affective autonomy. The result is a
« profound lack of self-confidence. » Still, this is in no way
an excuse to « vampirize» others!
« Psychic Vampires must have a seductive
personality for you to be able to give in to them... » Indeed,
some of them have a great power of seduction. They use their
charms to « vampirize »
us, especially in the couple. We are increasingly wary of
these people, who are often mistaken for «
narcissistic perverts. »
The majority of psychic vampires play on our natural tendency to
compassion, humanity and tenderness. More than great seducers,
they behave like little children whom we would like to take
care of.
4.
What is the ideal victim's personality
type?
These are people who naturally have a lot of empathy, a propensity for
affection. They think they can give endlessly.
Some even feel valued by these incessant requests. They feel as if
they're important in this « vampire-vampirized » relationship.
They may be people who fear that they will not be loved or who feel that
they have been spoiled by life, that they have received too
much.
This imagined guilt leads them to want to « fix » others. It gives
meaning to their lives.
5.
Should we then be wary of everyone to avoid
being
« vampirize? »
Of course not!
We must not conclude that we must not help anyone, but in order to give,
we must preserve ourselves.
Some people get eaten alive without even realizing their relationships
aren't healthy.
To avoid getting there, it is important to learn to say stop in time.
6.
How to get out of anxiety-provoking
relationships with a psychic vampire?
Being aware of this is already a first step. Of course, we can continue
to give, but not as much. It is better to « measure » what you
transmit and what you keep for yourself.
The main thing is to bring things to light, to talk to those around you
to make the power of the psychic vampire inoperative.
In addition, we can express his feelings to him, explain the effects
produced by his behavior, bearing in mind that he will
probably continue to cling, by pressing where it hurts:
whether it is our tendency to guilt, the need to be loved, the
debt that we feel we have towards him, etc.
Finally, if the break is obviously not mandatory, you have to allow
yourself to come to this conclusion if you can no longer do
otherwise.
7.
Can the psychic vampire, him, regain
autonomy?
It is often difficult.
If we feel in this case, we can try to
understand why we are there, how our childhood has conditioned
our behavior?
Vampirism can be treated very well with
psychotherapy. Its analytical dimension makes it possible to
delve into the roots of evil in order to become independent
and, finally, to be free.
8.
How do you recognize an affective vampire?
Incapable of recharging their batteries emotionally
and intellectually, having no affective autonomy, they do not
know how to give or listen.
Often egocentric, in the position of victims,
overstretching, in search of the slightest attention, they
exhaust those around them, miserly of reciprocity and
gratitude.
Whether it is a colleague who appropriates the work
of another and steals the show, a hierarchical superior who
arrogates the ideas of his collaborators, a loved one or a
romantic partner in constant demand, psychic vampires, present
several typical profiles:
·
The depressive or the plaintive: he tells his
misfortunes all day long, seeing everything in black.
·
The tragedian or the victim: his life is a
permanent tragedy, a succession of dramas.
·
The critic: he already knows everything.
Nothing is good enough for him. He criticizes everything.
·
The tireless speaker: he pours out his
thoughts, his emotions, his feelings without being interested
in those of others perceived as simple receptacles.
·
The egocentric or the narcissist: he seeks to
be admired, to make the world revolve around him.
·
The indifferent: he closes in on himself and
lets the other, exhaust himself questioning him, making him
feel guilty.
·
The snooper or interrogator: he questions
everything. He has an unhealthy curiosity. He is jealous of
everything.
·
The aggressive or the bully: he constantly
complains, threatens, imposes, attacks, oppresses.
·
The sarcastic or the ironic: it ridicules
everything. For him, nothing matters. It reduces all action to
nothing.
9.
What are the consequences for their victims?
The most empathetic, the great helpers, the very
attentive people are their ideal victims.
Pouring their fear, hatred, unhappiness, bitterness,
endless questions or demands on their victims, psychic
vampires exhaust them on all levels (physical, emotional, or
psychological).
From headaches to back pain to symptoms of
depression without the sadness, the negative consequences are
many.
Dragging their victims into a negative spiral, they
end up draining them of their positive energy or « converting » them to the forms of this ordinary vampirism
(criticism, negativity, derision, etc.).
10.
How to guard against it or detach yourself from it?
A few elementary principles, although difficult to
apply in the first instance, should govern professional,
friendly, or romantic relationships:
·
Remain lucid about the nature of relationships. Listen to your intuition,
realize the emotional, psychological, and physical
consequences of each relationship.
·
Do not trust appearances (kindness, seduction, victims…).
·
Become aware of flattery, not constantly finding excuses or being careful
not to open the door to harmful relationships out of naivety,
fear, desire to please, need for attention or guilt.
·
Maintaining a critical sense, remaining firm and true to oneself.
·
Maintain self-respect and self-esteem.
·
Stay pragmatic, set limits and balance.
·
Limit contacts or end one-way relationships.
·
Surround yourself with positive people.
·
Prioritize harmonious and balanced relationships.
Do not overvalue others, stop devaluing yourself,
forgive past mistakes, renounce perfection, and opt for
authenticity, harmony and balance are necessary for the
development of confidence and self-esteem.
This can be instrumental, in not being drawn into or
seduced by toxic personalities that can cause severe
emotional, psychological, and physical damage.
Psychic energy is invisible energy that can be
channeled and shielded to its full potential, but also risks
being
« vampirized » or spent for nothing.
11.
How do I know if I am a psychic vampire?
Psychic vampires are not easy to recognize because they
mean us no harm, so we don't worry about them, yet it is
indeed a « toxic relationship» in which our energy is fully
absorbed.
·
It feeds on everything that can be brought to
it:
whether on an emotional, affective, or energetic level. You
feel weak without any more energy and vivacity both physically
and psychologically.
·
He is always asking for attention:
he is in demand of the slightest attention he
can receive. In short, he sucks the oxygen out of the other.
·
It depends on you:
he systematically solicits you at the
slightest difficulty...
So beware, you may be
«
vampirized. »
It is up to you to consider the limit between
simple help or persistent solicitation. The psychic vampire
needs you and tends to overstretch you, it's up to you to
determine your limits so as not to be overwhelmed.
·
He places himself in the position of victim:
he does this to arouse your empathy so that
you always give him more.
·
He does not feel empathy:
the day he can no longer feed on the other, he
abandons it. He turns to empathetic people, who invest a lot
in others.
If you are this type of person, you may be
dealing with a psychic vampire.
We
hear a lot about « narcissistic perverts,
» but the psychic vampire is another type of toxic profile,
which is much less rare. According to psychiatrist Stéphane
Clerget, the latter are not only more numerous, but also very
different from the famous narcissistic perverts.
The psychic vampire does not seek to manipulate the other with the
intention of destroying him. On the contrary, he must be able
to continue to suck the energy of the other, so he will never
wish him harm.
Moreover, we feel pity for the psychic vampire, but we do not pity
the narcissistic pervert. On the contrary, we expect empathy
from him.
13.
How do you cure a psychic vampire?
It is often difficult. If we feel like this, we can
try to understand why we are here, how has our childhood
conditioned our behavior?
Vampirism can be treated very well with
psychotherapy.
Remember that by recognizing
such behaviors and trying to stop them, you are protecting
yourself, your health, and your overall well-being. No one
deserves to be mistreated or used in this way. It's definitely
not your fault.
There will always be some people who refuse to take
responsibility for their own emotional maturity. You don't
have to carry that burden.
Know how to perceive this psychic dimension, so that you can
adjust the shot to ensure that it does not harm your
well-being and your path to success.
Find out more about « stress » with My Success Is
Your Success. The book through questions, quotes and
reflections provides the necessary elements to explore all
about motivation so to shape your success and help those
around you do the same. Remember that success is all about
team efforts!
|
|
This book is the result of forty years
of experience acquired with local and international
organizations and companies and during consultancy,
change management, transition and marketing services.
This 404-page
personal development book was published by WebTech
Publishing and is available online in English, North
American French and European versions. For more
information and to view the flip book, visit
webtechPublishing.
|
About the Author
Decelles
Other publications:
ISO Pour Tous
– Le manuel
d’information ISO – Le guide de préparation ISO – La
gestion du changement en affaires – La gestion de
projet d’affaires – Le
changement POUR TOUS –
Change your future,
now! – Mon succès est votre succès.
Press Contact
Germain Decelles, o.s.j.
WebTech Management et Publication Incorpored
|
 |
—30 —
|
